


Arguments Against Reality

by motherofoscar



Category: Original Work
Genre: Addiction, Conversations, F/M, Masturbation, Porn, Race, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28729311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherofoscar/pseuds/motherofoscar
Summary: Emma Lewis is just trying to get through college. Coming from California, she's not too excited about going to school in Texas. But an awkward encounter from a guy may change her outlook on life.
Relationships: black woman and white man - Relationship





	Arguments Against Reality

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is an original story (obviously) with original characters. It's my first time writing anything like this so go easy on me. I struggle a lot with writer's block so this "story" is more a series of one-shots. This first one features awkward conversations on porn addiction, body image, race, and sexual situations. Hope you enjoy!

**CHAPTER 1**

A knock at the door.

Grumbling, I sit up from my laptop. _Huh. Must’ve fallen asleep on the keyboard. A page of x’s to delete_.

Another knock. “I’m coming! Hold your horses.”

Good thing Alana is gone for the weekend. I stand from the desk and walk to the front door.

 _Ugh. What does he want now?_ I open the door and glare at him. He only smirks and pushes his way past me.

“What are you doing here? It’s 12:35 am and you caught me in the middle of work.”

“That line of slobber would say differently.” _Shit, well that’s embarrassing._ I quickly wet my finger and scrub at the corner of my mouth. I turn away and go back into my room.

Elliot walks in and jumps onto my bed. “Oh come on! Don’t get your dirty clothes on my sheets. I just washed them.”

“Well, lucky for you. I just did laundry,” he proudly says. He lays back on my pillow and holds my elephant to his chest. His face is unreadable as he turns toward me.

“What do you need?”

“Hm... I don’t really know. I was walking around campus because I couldn’t sleep and I thought I’d come here. Looks like I lucked out,” he says as he gestures to my roommate’s empty bed.

“Why didn’t you talk to your roommate? Or hit up someone you actually talk to?” I sit at my desk and open Hulu to scan for an _Adventure Time_ episode. 

“My roommate’s an ass and I wanted to talk to you. I like talking to you.” He says it so easily and I think I might melt on the spot. I grin at my screen, hoping he can’t see my face because of my hood.

I huff and walk to the mirror beside my bed. I take off my hood and smooth my hands over my hair. I take my locs out of the scrunchie and tuck some behind my ears. 

“You’ve literally known me two weeks, Elliot. And you’re already in my room? What do you really want?”

He says nothing.

“Y’know my mom would kill me if she knew I had a guy in my room. Forget about her knowing he’s in my bed,” I say as I look at my penguin socks. I avoid looking at him as I hear him slide off the bed. His feet shuffle as he stands behind me. I’m not startled when his arms wrap around my waist. And what’s even more surprising, I don’t try to suck anything in. His chin rests atop my head as he pulls me closer. I don’t look up yet because it’s all happening so fast. 

“Y’know...I don’t care about your mom. She’s not here” he whispers, as he pushes my hair to the side to speak in my ear. I look at our reflection and it looks so...right. And that scares me. Because I’m not ready for this. _Does he actually like me? Is he toying with me because he’s bored? Probably...I mean he’s so handsome and I’m just...black? But no..black power. God made you black for a reason and you’re beautiful, I guess._

“Are you gonna say anything?”

“Um..Uh..yeah..wh—”

“Wow. How eloquent.” He chuckles and I smile with him. I shift my eyes to his in the reflection and the gray staring back at me is so intense I have to look down again. 

“I hope I’m not being too forward but I want you. All of you. Now.”

I screech. And bolt. I might as well be a hyena. I wiggle out of his arms and rush to the opposite corner. My hand is steadying my heart as I splutter. “Wow, my guy. That’s so random. What the fuck? I just. I just wanted a simple night of cartoons and a good rest and now you’re dropping this huge load on me—wait, that sounds wrong. Or maybe I’m just a perv."

"You probably didn’t mean it that way. But now I’m thinking of that. Did I mention I’m addicted to porn? And not the kind with humans. Hentai. You probably know what that is. It makes everything look so much better. And I may dabble in furry shit. Oh God, I’m sick. The human body is gross, mine is gross. I’m also extremely hairy, so that’s great. Wow, I’m really oversharing. I’ll stop now.”

I sink to the floor, horrified. _Why the fuck did all that shit spew out? Great job, Emma. You’ve officially overshared to the point of no return._ I cover my face as Elliot laughs. The laughing gets louder and louder and it sounds like he’s gasping for air. I look and see that he’s actually on the floor now, with his head resting against my bed frame. He’s holding his stomach and smiling at me. It’s contagious so my lips begin to turn up as I let out quiet laughs of my own. 

He settles down and leans back as his eyes appraise me. He smirks.

“You’re amazing. Thanks for sharing all your shit with me.”

“That’s not even the half of it but yeah, sure. Anytime.” I chuckle as I take off my glasses and rub my eyes.

“I literally thought you were perfect. Now, I know you are.”

“What? Didn’t you hear what I said? And how that’s not even half of my problems?” I tuck my legs under myself as run my hands over my twists in apprehension. 

“Well, at first you seemed really uptight and a goody-two shoes. That’s cute enough but now I have the thought of you staying up late, holed up, watching two wolves fuck each other and it’s honestly hilarious. So, you, Emma Lewis, touch yourself to furries. Good to know.”

I’m mortified. 

“Now, wait a minute. I never said that I...do that. I just said I liked to look at it.”

“But you do touch yourself, right? Or...masturbate?” He scans me and looks so relaxed. It’s infuriating.

“...I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“You totally do!”

“I do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Let’s just agree that you masturbate and you’re too ashamed to admit it. That’s fine. I masturbate, too. But unlike you, I’m a mature enough person to admit it without feeling guilty. And I bet you feel so bad about it that you can’t even picture an actual person while doing it. Well, I can. And have. It feels great, for the record.” He scoots closer to me and I back up against the wall. I let out a little whine because I’m at a loss for words. My blood is rushing and my heart is racing and this is the one time that I’m happy that I’m black. He can’t see the inevitable blush. He stops a leg length away from me and nudges me with his foot.

“Can you look at me?” He asks softly.

“I would, but I’m mortified. I can’t believe I decided to word vomit. Honestly, if you wanna leave, be my guest. I’m an absolute mess and I’ve embarrassed myself.” I say all this with my head in my arms.

“Look at me.”

I meet his gaze and there’s something soft in his eyes that makes me feel a little better.

“I hope my teasing wasn’t too vicious. I just didn’t want you to feel bad about telling me those things. I’m glad you did. It makes me feel like you trust me. Trust isn’t for the faint-hearted.”

_Huh. I guess I do kinda trust him. In a weird “I want him to impregnate me” way._

“You want me to what?”

_Did I say that out loud? No, of course I didn’t._

“If we weren’t in college, I would definitely impregnate you.”

I shoot up and dust off my pants. I hurry to the door and motion to it.

“Well, Elliot, it was great of you to stop by. I had a wonderful time. I will see you in class on Monday. Wow. What a great conversation. But I must get to bed. I’m quite tired—”

His hand grabs mine and I audibly grunt. _Oh, Lord._

He uses me to steady himself as he gets up and continues to hold my hand once he stands over me. I look anywhere but his face though his gaze burns into me. I focus on the episode of _Adventure Time_ playing on my laptop. _Ignition Point. Oh the irony. I didn’t even know I’d pressed play._

“You’re absolutely beautiful and I’d like to have you.”

“Oh, God.”

“Do you accept?”

“You’re asking me...if I want to have...with you?”

“Sex.”

“Hm...s..e..s”

“Sex. Sexy time. Penis into vagina. Penis into mouth. Mouth onto vagina. Into butt, if you’re into that.”

“I hate that word.”

“Which one?”

“Penis.”

“You can say ‘penis’ but not ‘sex’?”

“I can say ‘seggs’ but I hate that other word.”

“So, you’d prefer ‘dick?’ Or maybe, ‘cock’?” 

There’s an audible hitch in my breath at the latter. His shoulders shake.

“ _Cock_ it is, then.”

I focus harder on my laptop as he takes my hand and puts it on his chest. I’m relieved he doesn’t put it on his crotch because I’ve read enough fanfiction and smut to know that guys love doing that. 

“I know it’s all going a little fast for you. Believe me, I didn’t expect to end up here. But, you can feel what you do to me.”

His heart is pounding, his chest hard and sturdy under my touch. I feel a jolt of pride. 

“I won’t force you or try to finesse you into having sex with me. But, I’d really love to..I don’t know, show you a good time.” I meet his eyes and he glances away bashfully.

“I really don’t know what to say. I don’t want you to think that I’m easy—”

“I’d never think that.” He says quite forcefully as his hand tightens on mine.

“Can I finish?” I’m surprised at the steadiness in my voice. Elliot looks down at me and grins.

“As I was saying, I’m not easy. In fact I’m a...virgin..so I don’t even think I can be thought of as easy.” I don’t miss the satisfied glint in Elliot’s eyes as I reveal my sexual status. 

“But, I don’t know. I’m not prepared at all. Like wouldn’t I have to shave and take a shower and all that? Not that I’m disgusting but...I don’t know. Or brush my teeth or, oh geez. There’s so much that goes into this, right? Do you even have condoms? My God, how dare you spring this up on me like this? Selfish bastard.” I stop ranting and look at him again. He’s staring at me.

“What? What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Nothing, really. I don’t know what to say. My proposal still stands. And just so you know, I’m also a virgin.” I gape. _He’s a virgin? So, I’d maybe be his first? What an honor. Oh geez. Oh geez. Make a decision, Emma. And make one quick. But don’t feel rushed because that’s not fair to you. It’s not like he’d be loosing much, anyway._

“Ok, let’s compromise. Since it’s a Saturday night, why don’t you stay here tonight and we’ll watch an episode or two of _Adventure Time_. I should have my answer by then.”

He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to it. My eyes want to roll to the back of my head.

“That’s a great idea.”

I go over to my laptop and position it on my desk so that it faces my bed. I hop on and awkwardly pat the space next to me.

“Hop on up big boy. Forget I said that.”

Elliot guffaws and sits next to me. His smell is intoxicating and I swoon. I can’t really peg what the smell is but it’s musky, sharp and spicy. Kind of like a cinnamon ginger cookie. But not. I press myself further into the pillow to my side, slyly scooting away. 

“Do you like this show?” I ask him. “ If you don’t, you can choose something else. But it has to be a cartoon, preferably from Cartoon Network.”

“I actually love this show. Who’s your favorite character?” He asks as he catches my gaze.

“LSP on my sad days. Jake on my happy days. Finn on my confident days. You?”

“Jake always. I just love how pudgy he is. He’s adorable.”

“I second that.” 

It feels so great to talk normally to him. It almost makes me forget what this may lead to. Almost. I settle in as another episode starts up. When PB discovers Lemongrab spying on the candy citizens, Elliot scoots a little closer to me. He taps my leg and I look at him.

“May I?” He’s referring to putting his arm around my shoulders. I nod with my bottom lip between my teeth and swifty turn back to the screen. His heavy arm encases my shoulders and he pulls me a bit toward him. I’m enveloped in his side and I resist the urge to lean my head onto his shoulder. I sit there awkwardly for a full episode and it seems like the clock is ticking for my decision. Elliot hasn’t said anything but I know he’s also thinking about it. My head is on fire and my breath is short. I get it under control before it turns serious but it makes me want to reconsider. _Am I ready for this? Am I feeling pressured? Not really. He’s not forcing me to do anything. But what about your body? It’s kinda gnarly, right? How long has he been here?_ It’s 12:52. How the heck did all this happen so quickly? The fuck?

Another episode starts and he shifts. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He slides off my bed and trudges outside the door. I pause the video and stare at my hands. 

_Ok. So let’s lay this out. If we go through with this, we’ll need a plan. First, tell him I’m saying yes. Then we’ll ask each other questions. Then we’ll both shower. And then what happens, happens. Oh I really wonder if I should shave. No, depilatory obviously. Duh. No razor burns or bumps. Haha it’s settled._

“Thanks for pausing it. I hate when people have to rewind it.” Elliot says as he comes back in.

“Did you wash your hands? Put the toilet seat down?” I ask. He gives me an incredulous look and I stare back at him.

“Hygiene is important, gosh.”

“Yes mom. I washed my hands and put the toilet seat down.” He hops on the bed and slings his arm around me. _It’s now or never._

“Yes.”

“Yes, as in _yes?_ ” He moves his arm off me and fully faces me. 

I continue to look at my hands. 

“Yes, we can have...sex.” I grimace as the words come out of my mouth but can’t help craning my neck to see Elliot give the biggest smile I’ve seen from him. His two front teeth are a little crooked and for some reason that makes my heart beat faster. 

“Really? Wow. I didn’t actually think you’d say yes. Wow. Ok. Um...so that means. What does that mean? Are we doing this now? Or later. Wanna eat something first? No, that’s not sexy—”

“Wow. How eloquent” I say, mimicking what he said to me only a half hour ago. He stops rambling and looks at me with pink-tinted cheeks. Adorable.

“We can have sex. But, I’m laying some ground rules.”

“Anything.”

“Ok. So, first, we will finish this episode of _Adventure Time_. Then, I will take a shower. Then you will take a shower. Make sure you clean it after you’re done. I’m not in the business of cleaning up after adults. Then, we’ll spend time talking about our deepest insecurities, doubts, and fears. And from there, whatever happens, happens. That good with you?” He’s looking at his hands now and quietly grinning. Elliot looks at me and nods his assent. 

“Verbal answer. Communication is very important, especially with something like this. We need to make sure that we’re on the same page every step of the way.”

“God, you’re perfect. Yes, I agree to your terms.”

**Author's Note:**

> So...that happened. I'll update if anyone actually reads this and wants more. It's supposed to be a bit clunky because they're both awkward people (even though Elliot tries to hide it). Next chapter has more deep discussions so stay tuned! Thanks for reading :)


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